Will I lose my dignity? Will you still care?

As some people know, I do play World of Warcraft. Recently there have been quite a few people in our guild who have been “hacked” – as in, someone got a hold of their password some way or another, and was able to take over their account, and do naughty things like steal items from the guild’s bank, sell all of that character’s gear, and so forth. All well and good, Blizzard, in an attempt to allow people to be a tad bit more secure, offered up the ability to use a free authenticator, which runs on your mobile phone (iPhone, Android, and a few other misc phones as well) or you can get a hardware key, for 6.99 or 6.50 USD – somewhere there abouts.

Our guild was recently discussing them, as someone in the guild had this happen to them for a second time… And in going back and forth between myself and someone who thinks that Blizzard is making a mint off these things (hint: they don’t) Someone else replied with the following in the thread, and I thought I would share it with a much more general audience.

PERSONALLY

I think the only real, permanent, and logical way for blizzard to fix this ‘hacker’ problem is by raising up a massive army of Undead Nazi Vampires, lead by a shirtless Gerard Butler to lead an invasion into China and Russia, overthrowing the local governments on a crusade to flush the hackers out from where they live! Blizzard would then consolidate power and turn the two largest countries in Asia into worlds first corporately owned country. With this display of power, combined with their new military might, no one would dare try to hack a blizzard game ever again!

This plan has drawbacks however, as legions of undead vampires (who happen to be nazi’s) would soon grow restless, and crave human flesh. After blizzard loses its hold on such creatures, the Vampires would launch a full scale assault on Israel, instantly springing the United States, the UN, and NATO to its aid. By this time the other middle eastern countries, now coupled with their new found undead allies, would join in the onslaught and unite against the rest of the world. World War III would break out, the devestation would be horrible, and the world would cower before the unstoppable Undead Vampire Nazi’s.

That is…until the Dave creates a super virus that will specifically target and destroy the ‘undead’ plague; Effectively crippling the Undead army, and their lust for flesh. With the them out of the way, the path would be clear for the Allied nations to finish the war in a quick manner. Millions would have died in the first global war in nearly 70 years.

The world will want someone to blame. At the UN trial, all the execs from Blizzard will be put on trial, and tried for war crimes for creating the Undead Nazi Vampires in the first place. All of their property will be seized, and all the WOW servers will be shut down, effectively ending the happiness of me, and millions of others around the world.

…..

So unless you want THAT to happen…Get an Authenticator. Its not a perfect solution, but its better than undead Nazi Vampires.

Well done.